Marriage is a union between a man and a woman that is regulated by law, customs and belief. Marriage holds a cultural place in any society. Each society has their own custom to which all suitors seeking the hand of a young girl in marriage must adhere.
An eligible young man sees a young girl he wants to marry, he informs his family and they go for a betrothal ceremony (in some cases, the young girl is found by the suitor’s parents). Thereafter, a careful enquiry is made on the young boy’s suitability; that is, to ascertain if there is any case of insanity, epilepsy or any form of diseases in the family. They further check if the young man and family are free from debt, crime, witchcraft, etc. The family of the suitor also makes the same enquiry about the girl and her family. At the end of the day, if both families are satisfied, they will decide to proceed with the marriage. Thus, marriage can also be defined as a relationship between two families and communities.
Palm wine is called different names among different ethnic groups in Nigeria. The Esan people in the southern part call it ayonudi, the Yoruba in the West call it emu, the Igbo in the East call it mmanya, and the Hausa in the North call it gya. Palm wine is used in marriage to symbolize love and unity. The palm wine is so important in traditional marriage because it is used by the bride in Igbo land to identify her husband in the crowd. She uses the cup of palm wine given to her by her father to locate/identify her husband among the visitors. The bride carries the cup of palm wine to look for the groom. When she finds him, she takes a sip of the palm wine and then gives her groom the remaining cup of palm wine. Her action signifies her willingness to take care of the groom. The groom in turn takes the cup of palm wine from her and drinks up the content, then puts money in the cup and hands it over to the bride. The groom takes the bride by hand and goes over to the elders, both kneel before the elders and who then pray for them.
In Esan land, the keg of palm wine is served to all with the same cup and is served according to age starting with the elders. This shows love, orderliness and cooperation. After serving everyone, the server goes back with the last cup to the elderly man in the gathering to inform him that all has been served. The elderly man then blesses the server and asks him to take a mouthful. Thereafter, he drinks remaining palm wine in the keg.
In conclusion, we can say palm wine is used as a means of communication between the living and dead. This happens when the eldest man in an occasion uses it to pray to the dead. It also brings about oneness when the same cup is used to serve many people. It symbolises love and unity.
